Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day!

I remember the year I signed a petition that I finally, sadly knew existed, to make October 15th a National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I remember the year it became official and watching the Senator or Representative who pushed so hard for it speak about why he wanted it passed. I still remember his voice cracking and the tears in his eyes as he spoke of the one they had lost in their family.

It saddens me that every woman doesn't know just how common miscarriage is and how many are afraid to speak of it because of that horrible awkward silence or the stupid "comforting" things people say because they don't think saying "I am sorry" is enough.

It saddens me to know of so many women whose loss is lessened by those around them because they never saw their baby, never held their baby, never watched them grow. I want to scream out that this life they lead is no fair. How dare anyone who has never been there feel less for the loss of the one who never got to feel that baby kick, see their heart beating away, hear "it's a ___", never got to choose a name, never got to hold that tiny warm finger, never heard that cry, never got to see first steps, never got to celebrate a birth, or maybe a first month or birthday.

Then, while she feels this way, wonders what she did wrong. Was it that cup of caffeine? Was it running? Was it that panicked thought of "Am I ready for another"? To feel like her body hated her so much that it rejected the little one she wanted so desperately. To feel that God is punishing her. To wonder if inducing just one day sooner would have made the difference.

Some days it feels like such a silent heart rending. Those around you tend to forget as it fades away or feel like you are "over" it. Maybe they feel like we don't want them to bring it up.

This is why we need Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. You may not understand how this mommy's heart attached all her hopes and dreams and love on her next little one in just a few seconds of that pregnancy test turning pink. You may not understand that the words "this is not a viable pregnancy" can hit and destroy like a hammer, as if you have lost someone you have loved all your life. You may not understand how the beautiful joy and innocence of pregnancy can be forever destroyed.

However, having a day that recognizes your baby's short life, whether it was a 6 week pregnancy, 39 weeks, 42, or just a few short months of life, is the best thing in the world for that empty space in time. Because no matter if the due date or the date of loss, or the birthday is forgotten by everyone else, there is ONE day every year that we are free to remember and honor those that some forget existed without the horrible awkwardness and fear.