9 years of no "Wedded Bliss"

As I was thinking about our anniversary I thought of the quote some people use about whatever year it is of marriage - "__ years of wedded bliss." When I look back over our marriage I sure wouldn't call it 9 years of wedded bliss. Neither, I believe, would my husband.

I don't think marriage should be wedded bliss. I mean, if you think of it, how fairy tale does that sound? And blah! Wedded bliss brings to mind everything being perfect, just floating on through life together, no arguments, no clouds. How realistic is that? I think that if you have had years of wedded bliss, someone isn't voicing their opinion enough, someone is being a doormat, and someone really, deep down, isn't truly happy.


I can look back over good times and hard times. I can remember some knockdown drawn out fights that, while I don't look back at them with pride, I do see how that shaped us and made us better. Better able to voice our opinion rationally because we never wanted to do that again, able to speak up sooner rather than steaming silently about it. I definitely wouldn't characterize that as wedded bliss. Losing our baby was another one. College, In-laws, family, losing our baby, moving, work, finances. These stresses all put hardship on a marriage, causing silence and fighting. Emotions go crazy, and sometimes in the wrong directions. By no means, wedded bliss.

However, through it all, the good times far out-weigh the bad. College graduation together, painting our first apartment, celebrating our children's births, seeing new places together, growing together, promotions, and simply waking up next to each other every day.

While I would never say I have wedded bliss, nor that I wish to, I AM very happy to say that I don't regret getting married at 19, I don't regret having children when we did, I don't regret where we have been or where we are going. I am happy for the good and the bad, and I am happy to say Happy Anniversary Davide. Thank you for being my husband, for loving me through everything, for being my lover, my best friend, my children's father. I love you.

And for the person who had suggested that I "date other people to make sure he was the one", I am glad I didn't waste the time when my soul mate was standing right in front of me.